Blogging My Autobiography - Chapter 22

Getting Married

I have told this story more than any other, over the years. It’s because it means more to me than any other and represents the key turning point in my life. I was frustrated with the direction I was headed. Up to this point I had tried to do all the things I was expected to do, church, school, scouts and family. Family was particularly frustrating because I wanted my own, I wanted out of my parents house and away from what was going on there. I had moved out during my last summer fighting fires and really liked the independence. I could come and go with no one to criticize me if I wanted to stay out all night.

After the summer, things got worse for me, especially in the romance area. I had been trying to date a girl who was only partially interested. She used me as a placeholder while she tried to get some other guy to like her. Shame on me, I let her do it but that was something of a desperate move. I needed someone. It finally came to a head at Christmas. I gave her a sweater as a Christmas present, she gave it back. In retrospect it was a kind thing to do. She was being honest with me, telling me that nothing was ever going to happen. i did not see it that way and was crushed. I made a decision that marriage and the whole monogamous lifestyle was not for me. While I was away in Eastern Utah that summer, there had been more girls interested in me in that small town. It was fun but there was no one I wanted to get serious with. I thought that I would go back to that lifestyle and give up marriage. From what I had seen, it was overrated anyway. So, I made a vow to myself that I was giving up the life I had been taught and doing what girls had always done to me, take advantage.

The vow lasted all of three weeks.

I met Debi on my Mother’s birthday. My parents had planned to go out with some of their friends to dinner that night and at the last minute the friends cancelled. Do you remember Yardstick Annie from a few chapters back? It was her and her husband that were supposed to go. I kind of see that as a karmic thing, the universe turning on a single decision. My parents then called some other friends of theirs they had known from England. My father had been on a mission with Dave and Mabel was a member from England that my mother had kind of known there. Like my parents, they got married after the mission was over and so had several things in common. I was moping a bit so my parents took pity on me and invited me along.

We went to dinner at place called The Balsam Embers which has since burned down, embers indeed. Dinner was nice and it was decided that we would go to Dave and Mabel’s afterwards. In true English pub tradition we all hung around the piano and sang songs at their house. I went downstairs to play pool with one of Dave and Mabel’s sons, David. We were in the middle of a game and it was my shot. I was lining it up when Mabel came down the stairs and said, “I want to introduce you to my Japanese daughter.” That got my attention and as I looked up from the shot I saw this vision in front of me, long golden tresses, fantastic eyes and curves with snow sparkling in her hair. I was taken aback immediately. I went up to her and said hello. She was very cute and a good conversationalist which meant that she liked to listen to me. I liked to listen to her as well and the conversation went on until I had to leave with my parents. I didn’t want to stop, so I asked her to come to a dance at the mall where I worked. it was also a test in my mind. I felt a connection but wanted to make sure she was as interested as she seemed to be. I had been burned a lot you see.

She did come to the mall and we talked until 3am the next morning. In the middle of all the talk, I needed to go home to get some food. She came with me and I opened the door for her in front of my parent’s house, she stood up out of the car and i leaned down and kissed her. Don’t really know why, just did and it was as good as I thought it might be. She told me later that she wondered what the heck I was doing and what made me think I could. I asked her why she let me. i think she didn’t want to be rude.

We saw each other almost every day after that. After 3 weeks, she came to the mall and I asked her if she wanted to see a ring I had put in lay-away almost a year earlier. I still had hope, I guess. I wanted her opinion of the ring. She said she would. We were looking at it and I asked her what she thought. Being a nice girl she said it was very pretty. I said she could try it on if she wanted and it fit almost perfectly. She admired it on her hand and I asked her if she liked it. She said yes, and I said, “it’s yours if you want it.” “Are you sure?” she said and I said, “I think so.” “Well maybe you should think about it” to which I replied, “Maybe we should.” in the background the clerk was going crazy telling everyone in the store that I was proposing “Right There!” It was totally not planned, I swear.

We did think about it, writing down in Benjamin Franklin fashion, why we should and why we shouldn’t. I wish we still had the paper, but I remember only a couple of items on the negative side. Everything else was positive. We set the date for May and were married in the Temple.

it’s been almost 33 years since that January night. I love her more than ever. Marriage is everything it should be, if you both work at it very hard all the time. Debi is a great person and always will be my best friend.